Here’s How To Tell If You Said “I Love You” Too Soon, According To Experts

Ayoni – You Said I Love You Too Soon (Visualiser)

First thing’s first: How soon is too soon?

The answer is, admittedly, relatively unsatisfying. “There isn’t a particular amount of time to consider as the right time,” says Sofia Robirosa, a relationship therapist in Miami. “The time that it takes to understand whether the feeling of love is real love or infatuation varies vastly on the amount of quality time spent as a couple and situations that may show through actions that love is being exercised.” Because of that, the right time is based on the evolution of the individual relationship.

What To Do If You Said I Love you To Soon

One common mistake people make when they say I love you is trying to take it back. You might feel the need to apologize for saying it or act like you didn’t mean it, but that won’t erase the fact that you already said it and it won’t make your partner forget your words. As a matter of fact, things would only get more awkward if you try to take them back.

At the early stage of a relationship, honesty matters; and being honest with your partner is an essential key to making the relationship work. If your partner gets the feeling that it’s quite easy for you to elude your feelings and the statements that you make, he might begin to doubt what you say from time to time. Nevertheless, being brutally honest, even to the point of confessing that you uttered those words, will make your partner regard you even more.

Another way to ensure you’re not compelled to take back your words is by remaining calm throughout the process. There’s a tendency for people to get nervous, especially after knowing they said I love you too soon. A nervous mind will be all over the place, and make things even more awkward, try to maintain your composure and stand by what you said, no matter how awkward it may be.

Overthinking is a regular occurrence in such a situation, you start wondering if you’ve ruined a cherished moment between you and your partner. More so, you wonder whether things would return to normal after those words have been uttered. Several thoughts might flood your mind, and you might not really know what to do about the situation.

At that moment, overthinking feels like the only resolute; but on the contrary, it only makes you feel regret, frustration, self-pity, and other bitter emotions. If you’re wondering how to get over saying I love you, one way to do this is by not overthinking. No matter how awkward things might get, this is one prudent way to avoid negative thoughts from flooding your mind.

As a matter of fact, when a person goes through something devastating or embarrassing, the mind is unable to function at an optimal pace. Thus, trying to stay calm and refraining from thinking too much, will only help you control the situation better.

So, how then do you stop thinking, when that’s all you can do? Simply try to distract yourself in the meantime, and if you can, think only positive thoughts. If you need a few seconds alone, excuse yourself and go somewhere else to think, and calm down. Let your mind recollect the amazing things that led up to you saying I love you. Ponder on your emotions, and constantly focus on how great your relationship is so far – and with that, you’ll feel better.

Saying “I love you” too soon could impact your relationship.

Mann says that confessing those words too soon may derail a relationship that is on an otherwise progressive track—but not when the investment is already solid.

“Even if a person isn’t quite ready to say ‘I love you’ after hearing it from their significant other, if they are truly looking toward a future with them, its unlikely to scare them away. However, if someone is on the fence about the relationship, is perhaps a bit emotionally immature, or is negatively triggered by those words, it could scare them off,” says Mann. “But this, again, goes back to being tuned into your partner’s behavior and history.”

FAQ

What happens if you say I love you too soon?

Saying “I love you” too soon could impact your relationship.

However, if someone is on the fence about the relationship, is perhaps a bit emotionally immature, or is negatively triggered by those words, it could scare them off,” says Dr. Mann.

Is it a red flag if someone says I love you too soon?

1. They rush a new relationship forward too quickly. Popularly referred to as “love bombing,” this red flag isn’t necessarily about the new partner who says “I love you” too soon or who wants to move in together after five dates.

Why would a guy say I love you too soon?

According to 2020 OKCupid data on 6,000 people shared with mindbodygreen, 62% of people think you should say “I love you” “as soon as you feel it,” whereas 22% think you should wait “several months,” and 3% think you should wait “at least a year.” On average, research has found men take about three months to say “I …

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