How To Ask A Girl To Be Friends With Benefits: 10 No Bullshit Tips

A woman who you fantasize about saying, “You’re my best friend! You’re practically like family,” is the worst thing that could happen. She sees it as a compliment, but you see it as a warning. Normal family members dont kiss on the lips. They dont get naked in front of each other. And they sure as hell dont bump nasties.

You may believe that falling into the friend zone means you’ll never be able to find your way out, but you can actually be saved from its depths. If not, why do so many women claim that their husbands are their best friends?

We’ve put together a helpful guide on how to do it if you’re unsure of where to start.

How do you ask a girl to be friends with benefits without offending her ?

Respect Her As A Person

Respecting her as a person is one of the keys to making friends with benefits work. If you don’t, she won’t just decline your offer; she’ll also avoid you.

A girl has no business getting involved with a man who makes her feel bad. And you have no right to treat her like a slut just because she is sleeping with you.

In a nutshell, you must respect her and treat her with dignity.

We recently published an article titled “How To Ask A Girl To Hook Up” that outlines the proper conduct to exhibit when hooking up with women. The same applies to friends with benefits relationships.

Community Q&ASearch

  • Question Is it possible to just be friends with benefits? Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949) Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles. Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949) Expert Answer Possibly, but its important to check-in with your partner regardless. Sex between friends can seem harmless, but it can sometimes lead to strong feelings. Find time to check in with each other on a regular basis and see how the relationship is progressing. Staying friends no matter what should be the top priority!
  • Question How do you stay detached in a FWB? Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949) Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles. Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949) Expert Answer Make a proposal and define the terms of your relationship. Its really important to communicate exactly what your hopes and expectations are. How often will see each other? What are the expectations in the friendship and with the sexual relationship? Can you see other people at the same time? How can you ensure everyones safety from STDs, if so? Getting as specific as possible helps eliminate confusion, mixed signals, and potential problems in the future.
  • Question What are some good ground rules for a friends with benefits situation? wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer Different FWB find that different things work for them, so sit down with your friend and make a list of things you can both agree to. For example, you might make it a rule not to cuddle or not to hook up more than a certain number of nights in a row. Whatever you decide on, the most important rules are to communicate clearly and honestly and respect each other’s boundaries.
  • Keep things light and fun. Dont get jealous when your friend with benefits has a crush on someone else or dates around. Remember, you are not in a serious relationship. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Make sure you feel comfortable doing this. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Keep it discreet, dont brag about what a great arrangement youve got. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Dont get pregnant, and be safe and smart. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 835 Not Helpful 76
  • There is always the possibility of developing attachment on either friends part. Be honest with each other. If the feelings are not reciprocated, stop the friends with benefits relationship immediately. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 491 Not Helpful 85
  • Make sure you are starting these relationships with people who want the same thing out of it as you, and are not just using them. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 132 Not Helpful 18
  • Make sure they understand the purpose of the relationship, and dont think you are a couple. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 118 Not Helpful 20
  • Avoid being used. If your friend almost never talks to you in public or completely ignores you, stop the relationship and try another route. As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy! Helpful 548 Not Helpful 133
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    A woman who you fantasize about saying, “You’re my best friend! You’re practically like family,” is the worst thing that could happen. She sees it as a compliment, but you see it as a warning. Normal family members dont kiss on the lips. They dont get naked in front of each other. And they sure as hell dont bump nasties.

    We’ve put together a helpful guide on how to do it if you’re unsure of where to start.

    You may believe that falling into the friend zone means you’ll never be able to find your way out, but you can actually be saved from its depths. If not, why do so many women claim that their husbands are their best friends?

    FAQ

    How do you ask a girl if she wants to be friends with benefits?

    You could simply say, “Hey, I had a ton of fun the other night and would love to do that again, but I should be clear that I’m thinking more of a friends-with-benefits situation than dating.”

    How do I ask a girl for benefits?

    First be a friend. Meaning that even if she declines the benefits, you will still be friends. Second, you confess your attraction to her and ask if she’d enjoy the occasional sex as well. Finally, you accept her answer whatever it is.

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